"He's dead you know.”
“No I'm bloody not.” I'm very much alive and well and signing autographs somewhere near Coventry.
I was parking our car the other day and a woman approached me and shouted that I was blocking disabled access.
“You're blocking wheelchair access to the canal”.
“Where exactly am I blocking.” Says me, confused.
“You park there all the time.”
“But there are no signs to say that this is disabled access and there are dozens of access points to the canal around here.”
“But I use this one and my husband's in a wheelchair.” (I've never seen a wheelchair user on the towpath. Maybe it's because I have parked here a few times. But then again, Lisa also uses the car to get to work every day).
“Well if it was such a problem you could have placed a note on my windscreen.” Says I, politely.
“Yea, well I'm telling you now.” Says she, impolitely.
“Thank you very much for the information. I'll bare it in mind.”
I don't think she likes boaters. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that we can live in her village and don't pay the same extortionate Council Tax fees that they do. I almost feel sorry for her. I'm such a liar.
I'm now the proud owner of a Boat Safety Certificate and can get my BW licence that is slightly overdue. It's all in the post, honest Govn'r.
Banks have always been dreadful places but lately they have become even worse. Since they have found that they have no money (although why an organisation whose sole purpose is to hold other people's money, has no money is beyond me) they will bend over backwards to help. I was in the other day trying to make an international money transfer and I had a bank employee wearing a blue sash (aka Miss World - but she wasn't) telling me jokes whilst in the queue for the internal ATM and they offered me a cup of tea while I was waiting for the transfer. They couldn't have been nicer. It's all a bit sinister and their competence levels haven't improved as they took out the transferred money twice but only sent one lot overseas (obviously hoping I wouldn't notice).
We are off to Stratford over the Easter school holidays with Pickles as we haven't been down that way for ten years or so. Although we may change our minds. Hey, it's up to us.