Thursday, 23 October 2008

My Single Friend Dot Com

We decided to have a pint at the Great Northern pub beside the Great Northern terminus. This is not a recommended experience if you have just returned from Spain after several weeks in the sun. I assume, obviously not wishing to stereotype, that this must the local HQ of the BNP these days. My old 1995 Nicholson states that the Great Northern is "An excellent local pub serving Kimberley real ale and food..." It doesn't mention that it's full of skinheads wearing bomber jackets with swallow tattoos on their necks, has signs on the wall forbidding the selling of drugs and a list of pub rules as long as your arm including that you will be searched before entry. When browsing Google we came across this gem about Langley Mill. Not necessarily true though.

Lisa's friend Debbie came up see us at the Great Northern Basin last night and, fortunately for Lisa, decided to stay on and help us with the locks today. Last night Debbie took up Lisa's birthday present and agreed to be submitted onto a single dating thing on the interweb This was a source of much amusement all evening. I was roped in to write the 'friends' paragraph which went down quite well. You can imagine. You don't have to. Here it is:

Debbie is the most impossible, stubborn, difficult and demanding person I know. I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense but anyone wishing to get to know her would be well advised to take note. However she is also highly intelligent, fun, attractive, vivacious, sporty, stylish and career minded.

If she met a homeless person with a dog on a bit of string, she would buy the dog a bone and shove the homeless person into the canal but she may feel guilty about it.

She likes a glass of wine but not with wet tramps. She will challenge everything you say and agree with nothing but the debate will be interesting. Afterwards, if you’re lucky, you may be forgiven for disagreeing with her.

Skiing, walking, travel and the gym are compulsory but laziness, untidiness and slovenliness are not. She’s house trained, sorry proud and enjoys the nice things in life. DIY skills would be a severe advantage to anyone she meets.

Debbie is very sociable, opinionated and independent but just cannot manage to meet the right person. I can’t imagine why.

Would you date her? If you would, and are rich (no other criteria is required), you sound perfect. Please contact Debbie.

Or maybe not. Debbie's mum and dad (who had been roped in to give her a lift (she's only 39 after all, but not according to!!!!)) paid a visit to inspect the progress of the boat. Much talk of technical matters between the men and aesthetics amongst the women prevailed and they were off again, impressed or dismayed. We shall never know which.

As much as we enjoyed our time at Langley Mill we were off early o'clock back towards Trent Lock for a couple of days. It was a very peaceful basin in amongst much deprivation and social decline. Without wishing to appear patronising (which of course I do), the local inhabitants probably don't realise that much worse is to come in the next year or so.

On the way back down the Erewash, I was just thinking that my centre line was several metres longer than absolutely necessary for normal canals. Two locks further whilst attempting to exit another lock, I dropped the rope into the water and it wrapped itself around the prop. Half an hour later and with much huffing and puffing, bread (rope cutting) knife in hand, I steered the boat from the lock with the rope several metres shorter. Another lesson learned.

The diesel leak doesn't seem to have sorted itself so I will have to take it all apart and try something else.


Anonymous said...

Just been catching up on your blog Pete and have read the decription of Debbie. After being on the receiving end of her sharp tongue last time we all went out, which was all because of a misunderstanding(on her part!)I could not agree more with your description of her. Of course, it was me who had to beg forgiveness! But we wouldn't change her for the world.

Pete said...

Wouldn't we., of course we wouldn't. It's not about being wrong but about never admitting that you're wrong.