What, moorings?

We don't have a mooring. There, I've said it. I confess, we don't have a mooring for our new boat. Once you've recovered after your sharp intake of breath, take a seat, calm down. Now, deep breathing. In, out, in and out. I know, we should have put down for one three or four years ago but with the new tendering system that was absolutely pointless with BW. Maybe we should have done it with a private mooring contractor. But the thing is, we don't want one.

We hate the thought of a marina with the neighbours 12 inches to the left and right. We do not want to be hooked up to the mains electricity. We do not want water at the end of the pontoon. We do not want a shop, laundrette, chandlery, wi-fi, pump-out, elsan disposal, workshop facilities or anything else. We do not want any of the 'conveniences' that are offered by these overpriced slums. We want our independence. We want our freedom. We want to be at one with the people and not locked in our gated communities.

Even an in-line mooring is a bit pointless and I can think of few benefits of having your own piece of over-priced BW land to moor on. We will be Constant Cruisers. The heroes of the waterways. But even worse, we will very probably be that enemy of the people, the most hated of all canal users, the nemeses of the law abiding boater, we will be... Bridge Hoppers. Get on the phones now and contact BW, shock, horror. There are people here admitting to the fact that they will be bridge hoppers.

Having read many narrowboat blogs and now have feeds to 33 of them, it appears that the bloggers are the most tolerant of all boaters. It seems that some of the forum users and writers of some web sites (you know who I mean) are what I call, the 'collaborators'. They love to tell us all how righteous and law abiding they are and love to tell us all that we must all have licences, BSCs, insurance, moorings, cow down to 'our masters'. Stick to the rules because rules is rules. Well not me. No sir'ee. I can think for myself. I'm not a number. I'm a free man (with a free partner).

Is that a blue flashing light outside? Oh dear. I'm going out now. I may be some time.