Broken furniture (and other broken things)

I promise, no ranting today. We have a tendency to break things. Or at least, Lisa has a tendency to break things. I, on the other hand, have a tendency to to fix them. That's why we have no nice items of furniture, ornaments or decoration. It's got nothing to do, as Lisa believes, with the fact that I am as tight as a ducks chuff and refuse to buy anything new. Lisa insists that when we move onto the boat, none of our old tat is coming on board with us. Everything is to be new. It may well be new when we move on board but it will all be broken within a couple of months. This involves spending a certain amount of money which could well be used to fit out the boat. We only have a finite amount for this and I have accounted for most of it in my workings out. It's a matter of priorities and the difference between them. Mine are obviously right and Lisa's are wrong of course.

I mentioned before that the oven had broken. Since then the neighbours have stepped in, felt sorry for us and given us their old combi microwave oven. This was five years old and in perfect working condition. In the very short time that we have owned it, the convection oven no longer works and the microwave timer is not as it should be. We are back to square one and that Christmas turkey is still looking decidedly raw. I've relented and we are now looking at buying a new one (a microwave, not a turkey) that hopefully will be low enough wattage to use on the boat. At least the microwave part of it. (it sounds as I hold the purse strings around here. Nothing could be further from the truth).

The fridge is the latest casualty in our catalogue of catastrophic breakages. I had balanced the aerial for the telly that's on top of the fridge against an empty bottle of wine to get a better picture (the aerial is already broken). A squeal from the kitchen indicated that Lisa had broken something else. The bottle had fallen from the top of the telly behind the fridge and the light in the fridge had gone out. Fortunately in this case it is merely the bulb and not the whole appliance. Just something else to fix. Where do you get fridge bulbs from? A fridge bulb shop I suppose.

Lisa's penchant for black ash (black plastic coated chip board) in her previous home (we all know where that was) means that we still have several items of that same black ash in the house. I for one will be pleased to see the back of that and will build a bonfire specially to see it gone. I think Lisa wants to put everything else on the fire. I don't think any of it would even be wanted on Freecycle.

Fortunately, as yet, we have not been arrested for being Columbian drug dealers nor has a Columbian hit team been knocking on our door wanting to avenge the slur on their good name (it really sound like I have something against Columbians).