Friday, 4 July 2008

Drunk, Scarlet Pimpernel & DIY

Eleven days. That's right. Eleven days. That's how long it took for my mail that Lisa has forwarded to me to arrive here. I'm about three hundred kilometres from Paris, thirty kilometres from Dijon. It's not Azerbaijan (where I have sent an English longbow in the past and it arrived in three days). This is the 21st century. Correct me if I'm wrong. The bloody Scarlet Pimpernel could have made two trips to Paris to get more of the aristocracy out from under the noses of the revolutionaries in that time. A horse and cart could have made most of the way in that time. A lazy drunken touring cyclist could have easily rode that distance and more in that time. What the 'ell's going on. To add insult to injury Lisa paid extra for air mail. An 'orse and cart it is next time. Ken used to be a postie so I think I'll take it out on him.

The old folks came back roaring drunk the other night. Roaring. They went out on an 'old fogies' day out with our friends from Dijon, Michel and Nichol, and as usual with the French, they visited every man and his dog and had something to eat and drink at every stopover. 'We're only going to visit Nichol's sister'. Of course you are. This is France. They left at two o'clock and arrived back at eleven, roaring. Much red wine had been taken and much food had been eaten. Some of us have a camp site to run you know. I got them up extra early to clean the toilets the next morning though. Got to look after the old folk.

We really don't know how lucky we are living in England especially as far as DIY is concerned. I have just replace a light switch in one of the toilet blocks and it has taken two hours. In England it would have been ten minutes. All electrical and Plumbing supplies are a nightmare. For example, the water pipes start at 8mm and go up in 2 mm increments to 28mm then add the imperial stuff that is installed in old homes and and one shelf is taken up with different sized piping. In the UK we have 10mm, 15mm and 28mm as normal supply. That's it. I wired up a double plug the other day. It took eighteen different connections and four different screwdrivers just to wire up the plug. In the UK there are three wires to wire up, live, neutral and earth and it takes about five minutes. I cannot really complain as it has been my experience here that has made the wiring and plumbing on the boat so much easier (what do you mean I haven't finished it). Hey, I'm playing into the anti-European lobbies hands here. Not really. I get my good quality red wine for fifty pence a litre. Swings and roundabouts.

This blog's getting less and less boaty. I'll make up for it in August.

3 comments:

MortimerBones said...

so my boat was fitted out by a french man then!!! NOW I understand!

Lisa said...

oh m goodness.... I'm getting ready to leave the boat....

Its tipping to one side and people have been looking with concern on the marina and..... the engine no longer works.... I know I'm going to get the blame....

See you tomorrow....

Halfie said...

This is great stuff. Really enjoying your blog.

Halfie