Wednesday, 14 May 2008

CC Licencing (again)

NABO seem to be grasping the same nettle as the APCO have previously. Constant cruisers really are the most hated people in the world. Even more so than Gorge Bush. But not as much as bridge hoppers. Well I think paying £2500 a year is a brilliant idea.

It will drive off the waterways the only people that use them in winter so BW can get on with those repairs they can’t afford. We’ll all be tucked away in those vast marinas we all love so much. I for one will get myself a little mooring and sub-let it to others, at no cost of course, well possibly a secret donation to a charitable cause (Pete’s summer beer drinking fund) to the cost of the mooring or more since most constant cruisers will be doing the same thing hence moorings will be scarcer and more expensive. I'll then continue cruising as normal or bridge hop, as is my want. Mooring prices will rise and I will be paying no more than I am now but the people that have voted to increase my licence fees will be paying more. In fact these same people could easily be paying me for a mooring I don’t want in order to retain my lifestyle as a free citizen. Ohh the irony. In the words of some moron (probably dubbia), “Bring it on”.

These proposed increases for constant cruisers are designed to appeal to those who despise minorities of all kinds, immigrants for getting fully fitted brand new five bedroom homes off the state, students for sponging from the tax payer and never giving anything back, teenagers for wearing hoods and hanging around in groups, gypsies/travellers for not paying taxes and moving a lot, constant cruisers for not paying their way and moving a lot or mot very much (delete as appropriate). They’re not like us, they’re different, we don’t want them here amongst us. We pay more than them.

These proposed increases will leave the waterways for the part time boaters and the hire people who, as we all know never cause any damage by hitting bridges, etc. Oh, I’ve just seen another hirer hit the bridge I’m near. That’s the third one this week. Well they didn’t do very much damage I suppose.

It will prevent the use of all those facilities that we constant cruisers misuse throughout the year. All that pumping out of septic tanks and emptying of those skips that BW have to do (all that rubbish and shit is all down to CCer's you know) and, aaaahhm, I can’t think of anything else. Washing away the banks. No constant cruisers go slowly. It’s hirers and part time boaters who speed. No, I’m stumped. This wouldn’t have anything to do with the politics of envy by any chance. Surely not.


Anonymous said...

I've got an idea. We all become CCers then there will be nobody to complain about CCers. The greedy capitalists who own the marinas will have no money and will have to close them down. There will be lots of eyes and ears on the canal and BW will save lots on not needing any wardens.

Pete said...

Brilliant. I'm joining your gang. Just think of all that rubbish and shit we can produce that BW have to cart away.

Anonymous said...

Excellent plan, then all those hirers would have to travel really slowly, as they bounce off the single line of parked boats from Landsend to John O'groats, nah for my money, throw part-timers into land locked marinas, and let them camp there, and leave the canals for boaters....

Ken said...

We've hired a boat and will be crusing the Ashby Canal in a couple of weeks. The mroe blogs I read the more nervous I get. We'll keep our an eye out for you Pete, maybe get a chance to say hello. I'll be the one bouncing off the bridge. Actually our goal is just to see some beautiful country side and to meet some nice people.

Mo said...

Don't forget the other benefits in towns. There'll be no one for the binge drinking teens to verbally abuse and no one to complain about trollies, bikes and car tyres at bridge holes in the winter when they've gone.
Ban them I say, make them confess they ruined the canals for everyone else and then make them sign up to marinas by torturing them - tie them to paddles and dunk them up and down until they agree to comply with APCO's obvious wisdom.
Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about BW employees not continuous cruisers. Oops.