Saturday, 27 September 2008

Editors!!!

My editor has told me that I need to clarify my previous blog. When I said that I enjoyed single handed cruising, I obviously didn't mean cruising without Lisa. It is her, after all, that supplies the driver sustenance and liquid refreshment. I meant to say that it would not be a problem single handed cruising but obviously a full complement of crew would be much better.

Are you happy now? As if any of this really needed saying. My editor really is a pain in the ass.

Friday, 26 September 2008

Lining finished and more beer

We're toying with the idea of popping (as much as you can 'pop' on a narrowboat) up to Nottingham for the Beer festival on the 9th - 12th of next month. If we do we'll start off early next week and we'll probably come back this way in a couple of weeks and complete the Leicestershire Ring on the way. We did it before when we had the original Pickles (an old Dawncraft) but I could do with a bit of a trip. Unfortunately Lisa will have to work and will be commuting during the day and I will be single handed for the cruising but I rather enjoy that.

We both originally hailed from Nottingham and moved down to Leicestershire six or seven years ago when we sold our homes. Just about anywhere on the Leicester Ring is about an hour or less from Lisa's work so that shouldn't be a problem.

I realize that this will do my bridge hopping credentials no end of harm but that's just the price I'll have to pay.

I've finished the lining with only one roof 

panel to go. I'll be starting the bulkheads next week and that should see the end of the ply getting in the way on the boat and will provide more wall space to pile things up against and also give us a dedicated bathroom and bedroom. Oh the novelty of normal living (of a sorts). It's just ripping along.

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Winter moorings & good ailments

There's two other liveaboards/bridge hoppers where we are currently moored around here and none of us are sporting blue tarpaulins. Rules is rules. There's a pound shop in Hinckley that sells 6x4 blue tarpaulins for, well a pound, so there's no excuse. I may end up having to issue them to qualifying passing boaters. We are possibly at the top end of that particular category of boater and don't need one.

The Handbook of Continuous Cruisers states that:

Sect 54; Sub sect 2d:

a) All Continuous cruisers shall sport at least one tarpaulin that shall be blue in colour. No other colour should be used as the primary tarpaulin.

b) Other tarpaulins of any colour(s) may be used (with the exception of lemon) up to a maximum of seven but these should only be used as the secondary tarpaulins.

c) Tarpaulins may be used for any purpose including covering the rear deck of a cruiser, covering unknown/disgusting objects on the roof, hanging by one piece of old rope from a handrail for no discernible purpose other than to indicate the presence of said Continuous Cruiser, screwed up, dumped in front well deck, and other similar purposes.

d)The older the tarpaulin (especially the primary tarpaulin) the more credibility and prestige the boater should receive from fellow Continuous Cruisers.

e) There shall be absolutely no exceptions to these rules for those who come into the above category.

Well that's quite clear isn't it? I stand corrected.

I, and several other liveaboards around these parts, have speculatively tried to get a winter mooring to save moving around during those months. It seems that you cannot ask for a particular place even if it has been used in the past for winter moorings but have to submit and they allocate the mooring. Well that's a thousand or so quid that won't be going into BW's pocket. If I'm paying for a mooring I'm sure as hell not going to let them choose where it is going to be. They couldn't get away with that kind of thing with any other group of boater. It could have paid for a couple of pointless bollards. A little short sighted if you ask me.

Who actually represents continuous cruisers? I'm sure that all the relevant groups will say that it's them but from what I've read, it seems to be no-one. If there are so many of us, maybe we should start our own pressure group.I propose a working title, Society of Continuous cruising Users Movement. Well it works for me.

I've been unwell for the past couple of days (no, I'm not looking for your sympathy) and if you are going to be unwell, this is the one that is well worth being unwell with, albeit only once, to experience the effects. I know it's no fun listening to someone else's ailments but this 'un's a good 'un.

It's called labyrinthitis (now there's a spoof complaint if ever I've heard one). It affects your inner ear and therefore your balance and has the affect of making you feel and seem drunk without the expense or inconvenience of having to buy alcohol. If it wasn't for the fact that I was laying on the bed for the first day with my head hanging into a bucket (it is a little disorientating) I'd recommend it for everyone. The first day it was like I'd drunk three bottles of wine, the second two and today was just the one. I'll probably have a hell of a hangover tomorrow.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Cults and Tooters

I am officially a cult or a sect or somesuch and have a 'follower'. My 'follower' is in fact Jo and Keith on nb Hadar. I think this is all a little spooky and not a little disturbing but Blogger, my blogging medium, has developed this thing that I can see no point of at all. I am allowed followers. These are apparently people who read my blog from Blogger but I've no idea what the point of it is. I'm also not sure what the advantages are over using Google reader and subscribing to the blogs that you want to read there. Presumably to allow the blogger to identify who their followers are. Always useful.

Lisa is very easy to please. Many women would be happy with nothing less than a new kitchen. Lisa, on the other hand, is perfectly content with some Fablon with pictures of pebbles on it to use as a worktop surface. Saves an absolute fortune.

This canside sign left me a little baffled. Narrowboats are two a penny these days. Just turn up at a broker, view the boats, choose the one you want and offer about a third of the asking price and it's yours. Why you'd want to put a sign up indication that you want one seems a little pointless.

Why do tooters think they have priority over the rest of us non-tooters? I am not a tooter, have never been a tooter, will never be a tooter nor do I even have a device enabled for tooting. Tooting is not something I find at all comforting nor have I the necessary inclination to toot. I am also unlikely to hear the tooter's toot as I am standing on top of 42bhp of throbbing moving parts that have not been completely covered.

Tooters seem to think that if they toot prior to arrival at a blind corner, bridge 'ole, etc that we non-tooters will think, 'Hang on. There's a tooter 'round the bend here. I'd best hang back and give them priority and the ability to charge through the blind bit without looking'. For two hundred years the unwritten rule has been, 'they who arrive at the blind bit first have priority'. It has never been, 'they who toot first have priority'. As a fully trained clinical psychologist I believe that tooters are insecure, unconfident people who need tooting as a way of screaming at the world, 'I'm here, I'm important, take notice of me.'

On the other hand I may be totally wrong.

A motorized kayak. I somehow doubt they toot either. Seems like a good piece of kit though.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

Quiet Shackerstone and more bonkers writers

Well Shackerstone has reverted back to it's normal very quiet ways and all of the interloping boats and boaters have gone their separate ways (well not really. They all went the same way; back to the Coventry Canal). We are still here and are now moored around the corner where the historic boats were. We've used this week to clean the mud from the boat and will move on this weekend.

When we were on our way to Snarestone to wind we met Hadar on their way back down the Ashby. It was brilliant to put a name to a face and a person to a boat in meeting Jo and Keith at the non-festival. And fellow bloggers to boot. The boat's not too bad either.

I've finished one side of the above gunwale lining. Next week the other side. I'll be glad to be rid of all those 4x8 sheets as they take up so much room.

Without wishing to repeat myself, there is a superb email communication that should be brought to others attention on Narrowboatworld. Narrowboatworld is now anti-narrowboat judging by this entry. The email page has a (spoof?) mail from one Tim Atkinson, a Thames boater with a 'classic' motor boat. He rants about narrowboaters, liveaboards and generators and is obviously anti-narrowboat himself. He has even implied that he has put sugar into a generator owned by a narrowboater. I think that Tom Crossley has missed the criminal element of this but saw the anti-liveaboard angle and published it anyway. Tim even got in the word 'scum' to describe narrowboaters. This email has very similar sentiments to the spoof letter I blogged here several blogs ago.

Mr Atkinson, I doff my hat to you sir. For sure, you are a comic genius.

Monday, 8 September 2008

Tall people & miscommunication

There seems to be a preponderance of tall people in Shakerstone. These are locals and not visiting boaters. I'm used to looking down on people (especially people I live with) and think it's disconcerting to have to look at people on the same level or even higher. There must be something in the water 'round here. There's certainly something in the beer as we went up to the Raising Sun yesterday afternoon and with every intention in the world of returning in the evening to watch the live band, we were flat out in bed by eight o'clock. Gone are the days when Lisa and I could drink twelve pints and sing a merry song. Oh no! Back to bed after a couple of pints for our cocoa. The impromptu folk at the pub was good anyway with the occupants of some the ex-working boats and of nb Talisman talking the 'elm.

On Friday I had been working on the plywood boards which will eventually be the lining of Pickles no 2 and cutting one of the porthole cut-outs that I had marked up. I looked at the man hanging out of the rear door of the boat in front and he was obviously trying to tell me something by drawing his hand across his throat. I thought 'cheeky bugger telling me to keep the noise down. I'm allowed to use my electric saw during the day'. I looked again and he was doing the same thing. Well he's either telling me he's going to cut my throat or to stop using my saw. I went stomping around the boat all indignant chuntering to myself.

Later I found out that they had cancelled the festival and realised that he neither wanted to cut my throat nor to keep the noise down but that the event was no more. I spoke to him later and he confirmed this as he was neither carrying a knife nor wearing ear defenders. This miscommunication could have turned ugly if I had confronted him instead of sulking around the boat. I don't know what the moral of this story is but there must be one.

I've included some pictures here of some of the ex-working boats that attended the non-festival. As usual the boaters seemed to make the best of it and even last night in the pouring rain, the ex-working boaters were holding a BBQ on the muddy towpath under a tarpaulin.

Friday, 5 September 2008

A soggy end

It's all over here. The Shakerstone Festival has been cancelled due to the ground conditions and general weather. It has been raining all week and the place is a quagmire. In the end they couldn't get the stuff onto the site by vehicle. The only thing open is the been tent this evening with the musicians intact. They put some hey at the entrances at the start of the day and I was dubious as to their worth. There are about twenty or so ex-working boats here but other than the pub and beer tent it's all a bit of wasted effort. Well it's never really a waste if beer is involved.

This week I watched a certain ex-working boat (which will remain nameless) attempting to moor. A fellow boater took the lines and was helping pull the boat in but was shouted at by the owner of the boat to, “leave my lines alone and don't pull me in”. I thought this was a little mean spirited and harsh as he was only trying to help. This attitude just emphasises what many narrowboat owners already think about historic boat owners.

Well most owners of non-historic boats would also believe that others who own ex-working boats would know what they are doing and how to handle their boat but this is seemingly not the case. This chap had ample room to moor albeit it was a little shallow at the edges and to find a decent spot he had to move about a bit but just couldn't manage it. He manoeuvred back and forth jumping on and off his boat with his three lines, hauling on them then hopping back on his boat to try another manoeuvre. He tried every move in the book but couldn't get it into the bank. The Ashby is very shallow here at the banks as it is saucer shaped.

To cut what ended up as a long story short after forty five minutes he finally tied his lines for the last time. No-one helped him (I wonder why) but I think that many, like me, were sniggering from the safety of our own boats. I would love to have been brave enough to bring a chair up to beside his boat with a cup of tea to watch the spectacle.

To top it all my starter battery has died as I suspected it might. I'll make do with the smaller van battery I've been using until I can get a proper decent one to fit. It's a little underpowered but beggars can't be choosers.

I've just noticed that for some inexplicable reason I have fifty members of my blog audience according to my Feedburner count. Haven't you all got better things to do?

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Shakerstone Festival site

On Sunday Jo from Hadar arrived to introduce herself but it was a bit of a flying visit as I had volunteered to help with the setting up of the festival site so had to get across there. Several others from the Ashby Canal Association were also present and during the rather wet day we set up the arena, the car park and various other roped off areas. From nothing, other than a few pegs in the ground, by the end of the day it was looking like a festival site as there were others including the marquee erectors working on site. Thursday and Friday are the next working days to finalize the site for the weekend.

Things are beginning to look a little muddy and as far as I know this weather is here to stay. We will see but you can't have a festival without mud in the UK. It wouldn't be the same. I've always wanted to do mud sliding like they were doing in 1968 at Woodstock although I think that highly unlikely at Shakerstone. 'elfin safety might take a dim view. With the average age of the visitors being a little older than the Woodstock crowd there my be a few broken hips as well.

There are more boats arriving every day and the historic boats are also starting to arrive. People are breasting up and we are expecting to have to by the weekend although I don't envy anyone breasting up to grumpy. Nor next to me either.

I have cut all the boards for the lining out today and will start screwing into the bearers tomorrow so no more visible spray foam and wiring. I'll miss that (not).

Thursday, 28 August 2008

Hadar arrives

Fellow bloggers nb Hadar passed at 4.30 this afternoon on their way to the Shakerstone Family Festival. At least Jo and Keith will be able to find a space by the festival field this time and not like the IWA where they were placed some way from all the action. It's a little more relaxed here on the Ashby and probably a little shallower as well.

There are only about six or seven boats moored at the festival grounds as of Thursday evening. We'll probably make our way up tomorrow as this weekend will see a lot more traffic arriving. We've got to get ourselves a spot near a bridge where we can park our cars after all. Scum bridge hoppers.

Flowers or weeds

I haven't posted a picture for a while so here's one. I vaguely remember something about a 'veg pledge' from BW but life's just too short to be bothered to trawl through their tiresome press releases to find what it was all about. Suffice to say that it was probably something about cutting back the vegetation along the towpath. I think that these flowers trying to get into Pickles No 2 through an open porthole look brilliant and I wouldn't want them cut down.


Anyway, boaters should carry a means of cutting back their own 'veg' if they relish mooring in out of the way places like us. I use an ancient bill hook (or is it a sickle) and a more dangerous piece of equipment it is hard to imagine. Walkers seeing me violently swinging this thing around my head have in the past grabbed the rest of their family and hurriedly returned along the tow-path the way they had come, and who could blame them.

There would be no need for BW to cut back the 'veg' if boaters did it themselves and we could leave the pretty flowers alone and just deal with the ugly weeds. In fact this would save BW a fortune. All those contractors fees could go into Robin Evens' pocket. God knows he needs the money with all that driving around the country to talk to all those user groups. I'm sure he must be out of pocket. Think of all those leisure activities he must get up to in the five days of the week that he doesn't work. Must be incredibly expensive.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Cut out and send to a canal magazine

Dear Sir

I have recently returned from our renovated château in France and have been disgusted and saddened by the state of our canals and some of its users.

After cleaning our brasses and touching up the paintwork on our new narrowboat we decided on a trip up the Ashby Canal. We here horrified to discover that most of the boats moored along the length of the canal were the same boats that were there before we left for our holiday. They were moored in different places but the same boats were still there with the same occupants. There was also evidence, if evidence were needed, that most of the were being lived on. These people are free loaders who do not pay into our society or our canals in the same way as we do. These free-loading scum pay no mooring fees or community charge and contribute nothing to the canals as most of the boats look like they do not have licences, safety certificates or insurance. I am sure that most of them do not even have a television licence.

These vermin use the facilities on the canals far and above what is reasonable, they fill their water tanks willy nilly, empty their Elsan without a care in the world, probably into the canal and fill up British Waterways refuse points with pee stained sofas and old carpets so there is little room left for the rest of us decent law abiding tax and licence payers to place our empty bottles of Chardonnay.

Their boats are unpainted, they inevitably sport a torn blue tarpaulin over the cruiser deck and are crewed by vest wearing, cigarette smoking, larger drinking louts. We need to clear these lice off the canals and take back what belongs to the respectable, Conservative, middle class, Daily Mail reading majority.

Yours faithfully

Bonkers of Hinckley

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Freedom

We arrived at Pickles No 2 to find that our fears were without foundation and that it had not toppled over and sunk, caught fire or blown up. In fact it looked like every other boat in the marina. Since it was midnight, we decided to stick to our better judgement and not to start the engine and rather have a glass of wine and settle down for the night.

In the morning I found that the starter battery would not turn over the engine and in fact it had only 4.2 volts in the battery. Oh dear! Not good for the longevity of the battery. However it started with the aid of a spare battery and some jump leads. Since then it has fully charged and kept it's charge well. We'll see haw long it lasts. I've no idea what could have discharged the battery to that extent as the only thing to come off it is the bilge pump and the bilges had no evidence of water in them and the pump still works so was not running dry. One of those many electrical mysteries.

'Lets get out of this place', the boat was screaming at us and we were echoing these sentiments. It was like running the gauntlet unloading the car and getting everything back into the boat with all those eyes on us (or possibly our paranoia). We paid our dues and after filling up hit the open canal. We are slowly making our way to the Shakerstone Family Festival site and should be there for the weekend.

I've only seen the one historic boat so far heading towards the Festival site and that was Roger Fuller (no, that's not the name of the boat. That's a boat builder) with nb Azalea towing and the ex working butty, Ilford. There will be many others over the next two weeks. I note that Roger Passed nb Hadar at Great Haywood on Saturday. We popped down to the festival site to see if there is going to be much room for the boat and spoke to Cyril, one of the organisers. Ohh! The ex GUCC nb Antlia has just passed.

Friday, 22 August 2008

Return to Poverty Rock

It's only two days before it's time to dig out that blue tarpaulin and get it flapping in the wind, place our wheelbarrow, BBQ, folding workbench, old wood, bikes and other carefully preserved bits of rusty and mouldy rubbish on the roof, put the dog on a bit of string, remove the licence disc, BW registration numbers and any identification marks, ensure that we are moored alongside others that look the same near a bridge where our car is parked where we will carefully arranged our bank side with even more bric-a-brac, stand around in intimidating groups of other bridge hoppers (for that is what we are) clutching cans of beer, ignoring other boaters (unless of course they are fellow bridge hoppers) looking like we have no respect for the canal or other boaters and that our boats are unsafe and have no BSS certificate or insurance, all just to annoy those who believe that those of us who live on our boats are scum (which of course, we are). Hours of fun. Ohhh! Those long winter nights are just going to fly by. I'm exhausted now due to the length of that first sentence.

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Nothing to report

I haven't written any entries for a while as there has been very little boating related going on here and we had the phone cut off for a couple of weeks (my fault as I refuse to pay any bills until just after the last moment).

There's been the usual camping related stories, some appalling campers and some lovely ones. No one's actually complained this year (at least not to me. Maybe I just look too grumpy) and I haven't had to throw anyone off although I have tried with the outlaws. The weather's been brilliant but the numbers have been down but this could also be due to my refusal to advertise the camp site anywhere for fear of getting too many customers.

On the medical front everyone is fine except me as my back went, I got stung by an unknown beast and my little finger swelled up to the size of a cucumber (no it was the size of a marrow), I fell down the wet slippery steps and badly bruised my arm (god I sound like an old fogey discussing medical matters over a meal. Why do they always do that?). Talking of old fogeys, the outlaws are still here although it hasn't been for the lack of trying on my part (see above). Terri has been and gone on a flying visit. It wouldn't do to spend too long with ones parents.

When Lisa left the boat in July, it had been mentioned by one of the residents of the marina that it was listing to one side. This was to do with the lining that was leaning against the inside of the boat and, hopefully, nothing more sinister. Well no one's rang to say that Pickles no2 has toppled over so hopefully there will still be a relatively dry boat there when we return in two weeks to free the 'Hinckley one' from boat prison. The IWA festival is on that weekend so we may pop up for a day out. Then again, maybe not.