Saturday, 27 November 2010

Different sorts of boater

There are various sorts of boater. Liveaboards, constant cruisers, marina dwellers, weekend boaters, bridge hoppers and the rest. Liveaboards can be identified huddling around the Elsan disposal point clutching their containers of unmentionable, constant cruisers by the ease with which they do that tricky manoeuvre, marina dwellers by their smug look, weekenders by the amount of luggage they walk down the pontoon to their boat in the marina on a Friday evening, Bridge hoppers by their blue tarpaulins.

But there are one sort of boater who we all hate. The liveaboard constant cruiser who goes into a marina at the first sign of inclement weather. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about you nbArmadillo. It's ok in the summer talking the big talk to gongoozlers, telling tall tales of five foot snow drifts, floods, hurricane strength winds and famine but come crunch time, it's up sticks and into the nearest safe haven to hook up the umbilical cord. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

We'd much rather be trudging down the towpath with our three gallons of shit in one hand and two sacks of rubbish in the other and returning with twenty gallons of water, a weeks shopping, five gallons of diesel and a sack or two of smokeless. At least it's honourable. At least we can keep our heads held high. At least we can tell true stories of hardship in the Red Lion at Market Bosworth on a Friday evening.

Call yourselves boaters. I wash my hands of you.

There again...


Graham and Jill Findlay said...

Jealousy is a terrible thing Pete. Be fair though, I did admit to cowardice and wimpishness so there's no false heroics, just a horrible smugness about comfort. Take care.

Anonymous said...

fair shout mate and wimps like your ex mates are not the only ones. The system is littered with this type of boater. And the worst is to come when they tell everyone how hard they had it in winter. Me i like yourselves carry me shit i will not move in the ice why knock your blacking of my 9th winter on cut now love it nb timewarp

Sue Hunter said...

Ha - love that blog. We've wimped out and done a runner to the top of atherstone - so we're near the water & elsan, that makes us liveaboards! Sue & Dave n/b Beefur

Pete said...

"Take care". "Take care". Don't patronise me. You'll have that smugness that those marina dwellers have soon.

Nine winters. We may just be getting it right by then.

Beware of taking anything on this blog too seriously, especially definitions of boaters.

We're still lovin' it though.